Walls Down, Swan
by DannaOlay
Summary: This one-shot takes place between "Kansas" and "Snow Drifts", after the last hospital scene. I wrote this to reveal Emma's hidden character, and as a little 'antidote' for Killian after watching that heartbreaker, "Kansas".


_**EMMA**_

Killian followed me shortly after I left the hospital from the back door. Wonder what he wants this time. I might need another excuse.

"Swan, can I have a word?" he asked from behind.

I was walking toward the tree line. "I can't right now, Hook." I have to get away.

"Later then?"

"Can't. I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

I stopped and faced him, "Okay, unlike you, Hook, I have a job, and it's my responsibility to take care of it."

"We'll, your job's involved in this, so why don't you handle it?"

"I can't, okay? Not today."

"Then tell me when."

"I don't know! I don't know when I'll have the time, it's just – everything's... been a –"

"You've got to have time for this, Swan, or there'll be none at all."

"_No!_ Okay? I can't! I can't do this; I can't – can't talk to you." I couldn't even look at him.

He grabbed my arm before I could leave. "Emma, just tell me. What are you so afraid of? Why do you keep running away?"

"I'm not running away from anything," I said, a little defensive.

"Yes, you are." He could see right through me. "What is so wrong about this place that drives you away from it?"

"And what's so wrong about New York? It was home. For us!"

"I don't doubt that. But it was only home when you forgot about this place."

I sighed, "Hook, I don't have time for this –"

_"When are you ever going to have time for this then?! Zelena's gone – there's no one out there that could stop you to give you a more important conversation than this!"_

Did he just yell at me? But...he'd never do that.

He probably noticed I was startled because his face just went from angry to ashamed. He looked at the ground, "Sorry, Swan, I –"

"No, it's okay." I knew it was the truth.

And then there was silence for a few moments.

He spoke, giving up, "So, is this the part where you walk away, pretend none of this happened?"

There it is. That shattered feeling again. Something thudding painfully in my chest, and probably in his. _Stop it, Emma, you have to get away from him._ "Yeah, I'm afraid it is," I said and turned away. That line came out stronger than I meant it to be, and just as I realized it, tears began to form in my eyes. I stopped in my tracks.

He hasn't moved. His head was bowed, and I can hear his breaths skipping.

I couldn't bear it. I won't leave him like that. I turned around. "I'm sorry." I took a step forward, "You know, you're right. No one will ever talk to me about this. That's why I don't want to talk to _you_ about it."

He looked at me. I can't take those sad eyes anymore.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. I don't even know whether I was apologizing for not wanting to talk to him, or for wanting to leave this place. I guess it was both reasons. And I knew both of them hurt him. But that wasn't it. _I'm sorry, Killian. For having to hide away how I really feel about you. For not even having enough courage to tell you that._ "I can't walk away now, I'll feel guilty about it." It was easy enough, knowing the fault was ours both.

He bowed his head again. "You don't have to stay, Swan." But I knew he wanted me to. For both reasons he wanted me here in Storybrooke, and right here in this moment.

This might be the last time I'll have him alone. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "But I want to," I really did.

As I felt his embrace, I shut my eyes and tightened my grip. I wanted to stay with him one last time before I leave. I need to leave right away. I have to leave because of him. Because he's here, and I can't have that. I can't keep hiding away from him here; I can't risk falling for him anymore.

I have to leave because I'm afraid. I might already love him.

We stood there for several moments until we stopped crying. He pulled away and wiped the tears from my face.

"Better?" I asked, for the both of us.

He nodded and smiled slightly.

I felt sick I had to let him go. I gave him this moment, and it's about to end. I took his hand, "Come on. They're waiting for us."

_**\- END -**_


End file.
